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I have Bible study/small group on Tuesday nights. I look so forward to gathering with these sweet ladies and hearing Jesus speak through them.

It’s not your average Bible study. It’s not cheesy. It’s not homework-driven. It’s not even knowledge-driven. It’s just real. And practical. Authentic living in Jesus. {Our mentor/leader has a counseling ministry called Authentic Living in Christ Ministries.}

Anyway, last night we were talking about marriage. How expectations can make or break you within that marriage relationship. So instead of holding an expectation over the other person’s head {that they don’t even know is there and getting mad/disappointed/deflated because they fail to meet it}, we’re supposed to let God define what our marriage should look like. {Thanks, Shannon!}

Let God define what your marriage should look like. Yes, I said it typed it again. Because it is really, really important.

That means no comparing your marriage to anyone else’s. How often do you do that subconsciously? Those nasty comparison thoughts can sneak in anytime.

That means letting go of YOUR expectations of how your mate should act, behave, speak, eat, drink, clean, treat you, love you, do conflict, appreciate you, spend the weekends or put their deodorant on. {It IS okay to expect them to wear deodorant, I’m pretty sure. Just sayin’. :)}

So what’s okay to expect? Aren’t there some black and white lines? Some boundaries? Some hard and fast rules? Well, no. Every single marriage will look completely different from the next because it is made up of two completely different people than anyone else’s marriage.

So you go to Him, the giver and provider of all wisdom, and ask Him. God, what am I expecting from him that I shouldn’t be? What am I holding over his head?

I don’t know and I don’t WANT to know how to define a marriage. That’s a little too much responsibility for me, thankyouverymuch.

Instead, I want to open up my hands, hold them high, and receive His definition of marriage. And He will give it. He’ll let you know what you make an issue of and what you let go.

It’s a lot more on the letting go side, just so you know. And dying to your expectations is not a pain-free road. {I don’t think “dying” to anything is ever a dance party.} It hurts a lot at times. But letting go of my expectations means receiving His.

And wouldn’t I rather be holding His? Yep.